Holy Trinity Monastery, East Hendred

A monastery of Roman Catholic Benedictine nuns in the Vale of White Horse, Oxfordshire

Frequently Asked Questions



These are questions often asked of us. They will be added to from time to time. If you wish to ask something not on the list or are not clear about our answer, please get in touch. .
  • What advice would you give someone thinking of becoming a nun?
    First of all, keep praying and be faithful to Mass and the Sacraments. You need to keep in touch with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to lead you. Try to find out whatever you can about the spirituality of different Orders and different communities. Get to know some at first hand. Think about what attracts you, what you might find difficult. Talk things over with your confessor or someone else who knows you really well. Make contact with the monastery you are drawn to and get to know the community. Don't try to live as a nun in the world, but try to live a good life where you are and wait upon God. In time, God will show you what He wants. If you are called to be a nun then, provided you don't put up any obstacle, you can be quite sure that the Lord will lead you where you are meant to be. If, after all your searching, you find that you are not called to be a nun, thank God for the gift of the vocation that you are and ask Him to lead you in the way of holiness. It may be that you are called to be an Associate or Oblate, rather than a nun. There are many ways of living the spirituality of St Benedict. Return to Questions
  • Do you enjoy life?
    Yes! A monastic vocation is an immense privilege and never-ending source of joy. Return to Questions
  • Do you have any upper/lower age limits for admission to the community?
    We prefer to treat each person as an individual so there are no upper or lower age limits as such, except those set by Canon Law. You cannot reduce a monastic vocation to a tick-list. Our concern is always, is this person truly seeking God, is she zealous for the Work of God, for obedience and for things that humble her (see RB 58.7). In addition, we'll want to be reasonably satisfied that she has a good chance of being happy and "growing" in our community. Sometimes we encourage people to try another community where we think they might be happier. For example, one or two people have indicated that they are more drawn to a community which has Extern Sisters, and in one case, we thought the call was more to Carmel than to Benedictine monasticism. Return to Questions
  • Do you have any educational requirements for admission to the community?
    Again, we prefer to treat each person as an individual. In practice, most enquirers seem to have university degrees or professional qualifications but that probably is more a reflection of the average age of people thinking about monastic life. What we are primarily interested in is whether someone is called to be a nun here; and God (happily) makes some surprising choices, as we ourselves know. Return to Questions
  • Do you accept formerly married women, i.e. divorced or widowed?
    Provided she does not have dependent children, there is no reason why a widow should not apply to the community. In the case of divorce, the situation is more complex and an annulment is required. Return to Questions
  • Do you accept women from overseas?
    We have to observe all the requirements of civil law as regards entry visas, residence permits and so on. We would not take anyone without the assurance that they had sufficient funds to return home if the monastery proved to be not for them. We would also have to examine such things as medical care/social security, etc. Return to Questions
  • Do you have Extern Sisters?
    No, all the nuns in our community are what is known as "choir nuns". However, because we have monastic enclosure rather than papal enclosure, we take turns to do things like the shopping. A choir nun cannot be forced to go outside the enclosure, but we have always emphasized shared responsibility for all the various tasks needed to keep the monastery going and in practice no one has ever refused to do whatever is necessary. If we grow in numbers so that to have Extern Sisters would be a real possibility, of course, we would consider it; at present we are too few. Return to Questions
  • What's the hardest thing about being a nun?
    That differs from person to person and probably changes according to one's age, state of health, and which side of bed one got out of this morning. Return to Questions
  • How enclosed/cloistered are you?
    We have monastic enclosure as defined in our Constitutions. Although we normally live and work within the monastery, the prioress can admit guests to areas which in another monastery might be out of bounds, so to say. Here at Hendred the upper floor of the monastery is entirely private. On the ground floor, visitors may use the library, oratory and dining-room, also the garden, because we have as yet no separate accommodation for guests. Return to Questions
  • Do you have Mass and other services in Latin?
    We sometimes have Mass in Latin, or at the very least, use the Gradual chants when Mass is celebrated in our oratory. Vespers is always in Latin and we use the Latin versions of the Marian anthems. Return to Questions
  • How traditional are you?
    This is one of the hardest of all questions to answer because the person asking it usually has her own ideas about what "traditional" means. We are very traditional inasmuch as we are Benedictines and live our lives according to a rule written in the sixth century which has accumulated a vast amount of wisdom and experience around it. We are also traditional in our way of prayer which has been shaped and formed by the Bakerite traditon of contemplative prayer. We wear a traditional habit, are loyal to the Magisterium, use Latin as easily as English in our liturgy, take learning seriously, and so on. However, we do not have a "narrow" take on what "traditional" means. So, for example, we are quite happy to have Mass in the Ordinary or the Extraordinary Rite — or any other rite approved by the Holy See. The altar in our oratory is at the East end, but if a priest wishes to celebrate facing the people, we are quite happy to move the altar forward. What matters to us is reverence and fidelity to the mind of the Church. Return to Questions
  • Do you have to give up everything?
    The short answer is "yes". St Benedict regarded private ownership as a vice (see RB 33) and wanted his followers to depend on the monastery for everything. We make solemn vows, which means we can own absolutely nothing. All gifts and presents have to be shown to the superior who will decide whether something can be accepted or not (RB 33.5). This is to ensure that we keep our hearts fixed on heaven rather than on earthly treasure. It also ensures that we cannot look to our possessions for status or anything like that. Return to Questions
  • How do you earn your living?
    Currently, we run a small design company which undertakes print and web projects for clients, lay, clerical and commercial. We also make things for sale. We have had to give up our jam and marmalade ventures because current Health and Safety legislation makes it difficult for us to sell them; but we have a few other ideas "in the pipeline", and perhaps someone will join us with a talent for something we have not yet explored. We certainly have to earn our living as we do not have an endowment fund. Return to Questions
  • Do you wear the habit all the time?
    Ordinarily, yes. For work we have the option of wearing jeans, a black fisherman's smock and grey veil (always with wimple and fillet) because climbing ladders and that sort of thing is a bit risky in a flowing habit. We don't have any maintenance staff, so if the gutters need clearing or a ceiling needs painting, we do it ourselves. Return to Questions
  • Do you come from religious families?
    Some do; some don't. Not all of us are "cradle Catholics" — some became Catholics as adults. Even those from Catholic families often encounter a lot of opposition when they wish to enter a monastery. Return to Questions
  • Do your older nuns live with you or do they go to a home?
    This question has not yet arisen for us as our oldest nun is 77. We intend to do everything we possibly can to ensure that members of the community continue with the community for as long as possible. Except in some rare cases, that will mean caring for someone until death. St Benedict explicitly says that care of the sick should come before everything else (RB 36.1) and we believe that means we should be ready to look after those to whom we owe so much. Return to Questions
  • How good is your library?
    For a young community with a very spare budget, our library is good. We are also fairly close to Oxford and to Douai Abbey, which has been generous in lending books when asked. Return to Questions
  • Do you have pets?
    We have a dog, Duncan, who is a good watch-dog. Return to Questions
  • Do you wash in cold water?
    Not unless the boiler is not working. Return to Questions
  • What is the food like?
    We grow as much of our own food as we can. Meat can be eaten on some days of the week. Return to Questions
  • Do you have to have a good sense of humour to become a nun?
    It certainly helps. Monastic life is not an escape. In fact, it is likely to confront you with aspects of yourself you'd rather not know about. Take God seriously, take other people seriously, but not yourself. Return to Questions
  • Do you keep silence at all times?
    The monastery is usually quiet, with talking restricted to what is necessary, except when we have guests or during periods of recreation and relaxation. Return to Questions
  • What does "Dame" mean?
    "Dame" is the traditional title for a Benedictine nun and comes from the Latin "Domna". It is the equivalent of the monk's "Dom". Return to Questions
  • Do you keep your own names or are you given one?
    If no one in the community already has your name, you can either keep the one you were given at birth or take a new one at clothing. We might have a few difficulties with something unusual like "Railroad" or "Peachblossom", but we'll deal with that when we come to it. Return to Questions
  • How much time do you spend in prayer?
    Each of us gives at least two half-hours daily to personal, contemplative prayer (more on Sundays and feast-days) and a minimum of one half-hour a day to lectio divina. In practice, we probably all give more unless the demands of work or visitors make it impossible. In choir the amount of time varies according to the nature of the celebration (solemnity, feast, feria), day of the week and so on. It probably averages out somewhere around three or four hours a day, not counting Mass. Return to Questions
  • When do you get up? go to bed?
    We have to be up by 5.00 a.m. No one is supposed to be up before 4.00 a.m. Once a week we are allowed to rest until 6.30 a.m. We are free to go to bed after Compline, which usually finishes about 8.45 p.m. Light out is at 11.00 p.m. Return to Questions
  • Do you have any special devotions?
    The Divine Office is the warp and woof, so to say, of our life so we tend not to have many devotions. We have Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament regularly and some have a devotion to the Rosary. For the rest, people are free to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Return to Questions
  • How much do you fast?
    From 14 September until Easter, we fast every Friday; and every day during Lent except Sundays (which, of course, are not strictly speaking, part of Lent). On Fridays throughout the year, whether fast days or non-fast-days, the main meal usually consists of soup and bread and cheese or bread and cheese and salad. Return to Questions
  • Do you have to be able to sing to join your community?
    No, but you'll learn! Return to Questions
  • Do you listen to radio/watch TV?
    We do not have TV. Each nun is allowed to listen to a radio news bulletin every day because we do not take a daily newspaper. On Saturdays we take "The Times" and each nun is free to read it if she wishes. Return to Questions
  • Do you use email?
    All the professed have access to email, mainly because it is cheaper than sending letters. For those in formation (novices and juniors) different rules would apply because it is important to learn detachment and restraint. Return to Questions
  • Do you use the internet?
    The professed use the internet for such things as work, study (e.g. the Latin Library for texts we do not have) and shopping. Each nun is trusted to act responsibly and use the internet only for what is necessary. We do not have time or inclination for anything more. Those in formation would not normally have access to the internet. Return to Questions
  • How often do you see your families?
    This rather depends on individual needs. We do not usually go to visit our families except in cases of grave illness but instead welcome them to the monastery. Visits are limited in number and duration, especially at the beginning when there is so much to learn, but we are well aware that a monastic vocation is much "harder" on the family than some other life-choices. All nuns are encouraged to write home once a week. Return to Questions
  • Do you have any free time?
    Yes, but we never seem to have very much because our days are very full. We are encouraged to develop interests and hobbies in the monastery. Currently, we have nuns who are keen on gardening, wine-making, embroidery and writing. Return to Questions
  • Do you have holidays?
    Ordinarily speaking, no. There are some days in the year when we try to keep work and commitments to a minimum, but the prayer of the community is unceasing and at certain times (which others might think of as "holiday time") we are busier than ever with the liturgy! If someone is unwell or overtired, the prioress will always try to ensure she has a proper rest and/or a break. Return to Questions